Dominant + Submissive Relationships / Domination + Submission Life

Dominance + Submission Letters to the Editor 7 Cinders

Master Nak,

I can get why the connection would need to be must stronger than in a “vanilla” sexual relationship but here’s another question; Once the couple has experienced a dom/sub sexual relationship, is it possible to go back to a “vanilla” sexual relationship? Or does that type of sexual relationship not turn the couple on anymore?

I admit, I did think a bit how if the person is a dominant that they would have the control in the relationship, but if I understand what you’re saying they both have the control? And by control do you mean just in the sexual aspect of the relationship or in other aspects? Would the submissive hand over the control to the dominant for other things as well or would they be I guess themselves.

I will admit that I’m not a fan of being out of control in a lot of things in my life but there are somethings that I don’t necessarily have control over that I don’t mind too much (my job, the price of gas, etc. things like that) Is there a way to explain what it feels like to have that control given up for a little bit?

I have heard of a “safe word” saying before. Has there been times, no speaking you specifically, but when the submissive says the safe word and it’s hard for the dominant to respect it and back away or stop whatever they’re doing? Granted I’ll admit it’s been a while for me but I remember that when in the heat of the passion it’s sometimes hard to sort of stop what you’re doing; how do you get that kind of control over your own body?

When you say trained to be a Dom, how did you just accept the role or was it difficult? Because while women tell men how they want to be pleasured all the time, what makes it different to become a dom/sub role? I guess how does the person know that they are a domor a sub? Can anyone be trained or is there something else that makes the person more intrigued?

I do want to thank you for getting back to me and answering my questions. I’m not sure this is what I’m looking for but I wanted to find a bit more about it because it’s interesting to me. One question I do have though is does there always have to be pain involved? Or is that another misconception about what people think?

~Cinders (I’d sign the name I originally used but no point now) 🙂

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